So, remember the story about Bishop Beal committing us to no sleep-overs for kids over 12, and how I said that was a firm rule, at least until we had been in PA for a while? Well, here's a little follow-up to that. Rules were always a pretty firm thing with me. Finding exceptions always seemed too risky for any possible rewards. The younger children were always carefully watching for any loopholes (or so I thought). Well, I guess life changes because there seem to be more and more exceptions. It's not because I'm "softer" necessarily, but more because I'm more comfortable or assured that teaching the value of exceptions can be virtuous as well as keeping rules. (It could also be because there aren't any "younger" children left at home to plot and scheme the loopholes.) Anyway, case in point - Lenee. We love Lenee. Because of a legal misunderstanding (divorced dad and mom legally hassling each other), step-dad (father of her four siblings) can't be in the house at the same time she is. So, it seemed like having her at our house on the weekend so mom and step-dad could be together at home would be a good idea. Was it a sleep-over? Yes. Was it an exception? Yes. Is there still a "no sleep-over" rule for Emily? Yes. Am I comfortable enforcing that in the future even though an exception has been made? Yes. And that's the difference. In the past I would have been too insecure with future enforcement to make exceptions so it was easier to live the letter of the rules.
And, of course, there's a rub. In order to make it more fun for Lenee, we invited Maddy over too. Sure, the day will come when the two of them will respond, "what do you mean there's no sleep-overs? We just had one at your house last month!" And, it will be ok. We'll all be fine, somehow. Aren't they cute? They were testing out Mary's old prom dresses because the stake dance this Saturday is a formal. (Maddy was a little impatient with the photographer because she couldn't breathe in Mary's dress.)
Speaking of changes - here's another example. Bill and Casey used to be so good at using movie dialogue in just the right moment. They had hundreds of lines memorized and would say them at the funniest times. I have my "all time greatest movie lines" list as well (but can only remember it when needed, and then only one line at a time). The line for this moment comes from the movie "Beetoven." It was a movie about a family that adopted a St. Bernard and the dad didn't like dogs. One day he was eating breakfast and the dog slobbered all over his pants. He began to complain to his wife. She kept saying, "honey, just change your pants," until he finally blurted, "you don't understand! I had a schedule and I'LL NEVER HAVE THAT SCHEDULE AGAIN!" I've used that line many times because it was a part of me. Flexibility with my personal schedule was not real high on the list and, retrospectively, many good things passed by because they didn't fit into my schedule.
So, here's the change. Saturday, it's getting late, there are many things to do and just barely enough time to do them all. I'm on my way to Costco to pick up some pictures for a family. It rained several inches the day before, has been cloudy all day and on the way to Costco, the clouds start to clear. A part of me says, "what a great sky. Take some time out to take pictures of the Star Barn with that great sky," while another part says, "stick to your schedule." So, I pull off the freeway and take half an hour to get some pictures with that great sky. And that's the difference. Years ago, I wouldn't have done it. Were the pictures worth it? Maybe. But one day something really significant will happen, because I was willing to be flexible, that couldn't have happened until that lesson was learned. Photography is helping me learn more about that.
So, remember the story about Bishop Beal committing us to no sleep-overs for kids over 12, and how I said that was a firm rule, at least until we had been in PA for a while? Well, here's a little follow-up to that. Rules were always a pretty firm thing with me. Finding exceptions always seemed too risky for any possible rewards. The younger children were always carefully watching for any loopholes (or so I thought). Well, I guess life changes because there seem to be more and more exceptions. It's not because I'm "softer" necessarily, but more because I'm more comfortable or assured that teaching the value of exceptions can be virtuous as well as keeping rules. (It could also be because there aren't any "younger" children left at home to plot and scheme the loopholes.) Anyway, case in point - Lenee. We love Lenee. Because of a legal misunderstanding (divorced dad and mom legally hassling each other), step-dad (father of her four siblings) can't be in the house at the same time she is. So, it seemed like having her at our house on the weekend so mom and step-dad could be together at home would be a good idea. Was it a sleep-over? Yes. Was it an exception? Yes. Is there still a "no sleep-over" rule for Emily? Yes. Am I comfortable enforcing that in the future even though an exception has been made? Yes. And that's the difference. In the past I would have been too insecure with future enforcement to make exceptions so it was easier to live the letter of the rules.
And, of course, there's a rub. In order to make it more fun for Lenee, we invited Maddy over too. Sure, the day will come when the two of them will respond, "what do you mean there's no sleep-overs? We just had one at your house last month!" And, it will be ok. We'll all be fine, somehow. Aren't they cute? They were testing out Mary's old prom dresses because the stake dance this Saturday is a formal. (Maddy was a little impatient with the photographer because she couldn't breathe in Mary's dress.)
Speaking of changes - here's another example. Bill and Casey used to be so good at using movie dialogue in just the right moment. They had hundreds of lines memorized and would say them at the funniest times. I have my "all time greatest movie lines" list as well (but can only remember it when needed, and then only one line at a time). The line for this moment comes from the movie "Beetoven." It was a movie about a family that adopted a St. Bernard and the dad didn't like dogs. One day he was eating breakfast and the dog slobbered all over his pants. He began to complain to his wife. She kept saying, "honey, just change your pants," until he finally blurted, "you don't understand! I had a schedule and I'LL NEVER HAVE THAT SCHEDULE AGAIN!" I've used that line many times because it was a part of me. Flexibility with my personal schedule was not real high on the list and, retrospectively, many good things passed by because they didn't fit into my schedule.
So, here's the change. Saturday, it's getting late, there are many things to do and just barely enough time to do them all. I'm on my way to Costco to pick up some pictures for a family. It rained several inches the day before, has been cloudy all day and on the way to Costco, the clouds start to clear. A part of me says, "what a great sky. Take some time out to take pictures of the Star Barn with that great sky," while another part says, "stick to your schedule." So, I pull off the freeway and take half an hour to get some pictures with that great sky. And that's the difference. Years ago, I wouldn't have done it. Were the pictures worth it? Maybe. But one day something really significant will happen, because I was willing to be flexible, that couldn't have happened until that lesson was learned. Photography is helping me learn more about that.
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